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JTS014: "Sponge"

by MATH

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1.
Pushpin 03:44
but its better this way cuz i dont have to see your face crying telling me that im not worth any of your time fuck you i dont care what you do with your stupid life i dont. i dont. i dont need you i..i dont. i dont. i dont want to i guess i'll just try again with you or you or you or you or you or countless others who are just as fucked up as i am scared resentful hurt acting like they dont really care but trapped again by the feelings they have now come to all share i dont. i dont. i dont. i dont want to i..i dont. i dont. i dont want to need you
2.
Advice 01:40
On the day that you die. Pleased or burdened by all of your life. All the things that you said. The hate that you made and all your friends that are dead. Scared cuz everyone dies, thinking of friends until you realize All their faces are so hollow, very empty but wanting more As heads spill all that they swallow, they long to be as full as yours What the fuck have my eyes shown me? Sight is only for the blind (lonely) Naïve to what you will soon be, for all your thoughts will soon be mine On the day that you died. So unaware so unprepared to say bye. When you lost and when you won. Remember for now cuz soon itll all be gone.
3.
im shit, im fucked with very little luck to go off of don't feel numb don't lie to me, it'll only hurt me not you, you fool so cruel the words that fly away like birds who are you? a perv? what nerve you have instinctually blurting out "oh goddam" but still you see me or maybe 3 and think that 4 can become "we" instead of "us" or what it was before you became the whore you are so far from what it was you were someday i will know the way you think someday everything will feel the same someday all this will just go away but until then i just gotta wait
4.
I've only got 1 chance to say this so ill make sure to speak coherently I've only got today to get through this so ill make sure to be properly prepared for anything that could go wrong or right theres only 1 way to say this so ill make sure to choose my words carefully theres only 1 way to get through this but i don't know exactly what it is theres only one way to do this the right way you look so damn perfect please don't leave that position you seem so damn lonesome so easy to take advantage of you are so damn fragile and all i want is to break you to pieces
5.
would you sit in a chair for three hours straight thinking of all the things you would never say upfront to me? are these things all known by me or are they your secrets of how you think its been too long and youre tired of my shit? Godammit it comes so easy now. it comes so easily would you help me if i was sinking, about to drown? would you fantasize about the water pulling me down? am i important enough to halt your reverie? or would you just turn around and forget about what youd seen? it comes so easy now. it comes so easily. you dont stand a chance so die. you dont make me happy anymore
6.
brown to blue and blue to black your eyes are sagging like your rack holes for pupils a shallow forgotten loophole thinking that you look so fly forgetting that your face's a lie loss of all your common sense staring through a contact lens a stark small sound (uncompared) a shuttered puttered shout (always shared) a naked, noble noise (never scared) her voluble, vocal voice (closely cared) (this woman's hair) my heeled craving, hypnotizing my ankled obsession, mesmerizing my secret love, toeing forward the sole perversion, once sick and bored blood, blood all over the floor slit wrists and broken neck, hung to the door spilt guts and open cuts, hot as the season i never had a reason
7.
Stabbed 02:38
Of course I saw you skimped up and torn away Stalking your way through just another day As sparse as you can, with balls legs eye frigid Red warmth all over your hand Pulsating chasm, a breeze you’ve never felt Quivering spasm, succumb to whats dealt Oh to be dead and free of this
8.
Copper 02:50
C’mon wake up get up lets go, we’re already ten minutes late. On second thought take your time we can make those bastards wait. I know youre scared and in a lot of pain but you gotta be brave today. After all of this if you win or lose I know that youll be ok. There’s so much we don’t know. (No you cant leave just yet.) You can run and jump and bark and kill just about whatever you want. If it feels real to you, then who am I to tell you that “its not(?) the end” like all they tend to say on the other days like “this(?) is going to make you feel better” Don’t worry, go to sleep. Just lay down its so easy.
9.
Alia 02:53
i coulda been the guy that you really woulda liked for a week or two because i always woulda called you to ask what youre doing what youre wearing and what you ate for lunch but it would become too much and youd be like "aw, what the fuck? is he really fucking calling again? when will all this end?" and as the weeks go by, youd probably fuck other guys cuz youd think i was kinda boring and ive got a problem snoring. when (i) you sleep id creep on down your street just to kiss you on the feet but you wouldve locked the door which would just make me want you more. oh how i wish that you knew how bad i wanna tell you that you are so special i love all your freckles. i got all these tapes but none of them play, ive got all this hunger but you already ate, cant take any money out cuz ive only got fifty cents, so i guess that i lied about eating at Krua Thai. i guess that ill just drop you off, but seeing you was more than just enough.
10.
Dead 02:26
11.
spick and span from head to toe dressed in my nazi uniform i dont know why i chose these drapes they look at me like im insane but they treat me like another person in their tiny little lives even thought they know id like to see them die some day how much will it take for you to fucking understand i dont want your help i want you to just go away i need you to understand one thing about me and that is that I love (hate) you more every single day but i need you to know that you are oblivious to the fact that you are ugly on the inside now they see who you are, doesnt that feel much more worse? because now they have reason to hang on in case you kill yourself but you promise youre done with that. the cutting and burning and the leaking blood you dont react as much as you did before. now you figure whats the point? are you really happy with what you are now? done with sadness? done with what you always thought you had? its the fear for what is coming on the nearby its your anger with the fact that you are still changing
12.

about

More MATH available here: equationmalaysian.bandcamp.com

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released April 9, 2014

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Juniper Tree Songs Long Beach, California

Dark, Strange, Noisy, Sad, Lo-Fi Bedroom-Pop Takeover.

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